Katherine Geleta
Writer. Poet. Artist. Societal Critiquer.Formal education on gender studies and sociologyDisclimer: Any statement online about me said by trolls and people who do not know me in real life are not factual and fully incorrect.
Blog posts
Femcel Culture, Men Who Constitute as Public Figures, and the Gendered Landscape of Online BullyingIn the ever-evolving ecosystem of internet subcultures, few communities have sparked as much debate and confusion as the so-called "femcels." A term derived from "female involuntary celibates," femcels have often been misunderstood or oversimplified in mainstream discourse. While the term originated as a female counterpart to the predominantly male "incel" community, femcel spaces are vastly more complex, ranging from tragic expressions of loneliness to bitter irony and performative nihilism.But there's a darker side to the culture that's started to gain visibility: the targeted online bullying of women, particularly those who engage with or show admiration toward attractive public figure males.The Rise of the "Hot Public Figure Male"
Attractive male celebrities—especially those who are socially progressive, emotionally available, or seen as "non-toxic"—tend to attract fervent online followings. From indie actors and musicians to content creators and political commentators, these men become symbolic placeholders for the idealized male partner. They're not just admired—they're mythologized.What follows is a familiar cycle: a public figure becomes popular; a fandom emerges, often heavily female; parasocial relationships develop. Then, as certain women gain visibility within these fan spaces—whether through interactions, collaborations, or simply being noticed by the celebrity—another phenomenon arises: hostility from within the fandom itself.Internalized Misogyny in Femcel Spaces
While femcel communities often frame themselves as outsiders or victims in the dating world, this can foster a zero-sum mentality. If someone is perceived as "winning"—especially a woman who receives attention from the idealized male figure—she can quickly become a target.This behavior is rarely acknowledged for what it is: misogynistic bullying. Instead, it's often cloaked in the language of critique—accusations of clout-chasing, performative feminism, or being "pick-mes." These criticisms may appear righteous or protective of community values, but they can also serve as a socially acceptable veil for envy, insecurity, and deeply rooted feelings of unworthiness.In this sense, femcel-targeted bullying mirrors broader patriarchal dynamics. The difference is that the harm is being inflicted by women, onto other women, within digital spaces that are supposedly female-centric and supportive.Public Figures as Catalysts
It’s important to note that the male figures at the center of these storms are often oblivious to the ripple effects their presence creates. Occasionally, some may even unwittingly fuel the fire—by responding to certain fans, liking posts, or being publicly seen with particular women. These interactions are neutral in intention, but in the hyper-emotional landscape of fandom, they can be misinterpreted as validation or rejection.The result? A tribalism that pits women against women in defense of a man who, in many cases, is not even aware he’s become a proxy for self-worth or belonging.The Double-Edged Sword of Online Anonymity
One of the most powerful—and dangerous—tools in femcel culture is anonymity. On platforms like Reddit, Tumblr, and anonymous forums, users can build entire personas devoid of accountability. This can be liberating for women who feel unheard, invisible, or punished for expressing vulnerability in real life. But anonymity also allows suppressed resentment, bitterness, and hostility to flourish unchecked.In femcel spaces, this manifests in a particular kind of cruelty: the kind directed at other women who are perceived as more desirable, more visible, or closer to the male figures at the center of the fandom. An anonymous user can mock someone’s appearance, spread rumors, question their morality, or dissect their every post—all without having to take ownership of the emotional harm being inflicted.This behavior is often rationalized through a layer of irony or detachment. Posts are cloaked in sarcasm or memified until the bullying becomes part of a broader in-joke. But the effects are real: women—particularly those with any level of online visibility—are harassed, doxxed, and stalked under the guise of "protecting the community" or "calling out clout-chasers."The anonymity also creates a warped sense of solidarity. It reinforces a hive mind where cruelty is mistaken for connection. The more someone joins in the tearing down of others, the more they feel like they belong. It's not just about disliking another woman—it's about proving you’re not her, even if you're invisible by comparison.This dynamic can be particularly toxic because it mirrors broader patriarchal systems while hiding under the surface of subcultural feminism or “anti-patriarchy” discourse. Ironically, in trying to escape the male gaze and heteronormative rejection, some femcel spaces reproduce the same dynamics they claim to oppose—just with women as the aggressors and targets.
Where Do We Go From Here?
Understanding the femcel mindset with empathy doesn't mean excusing harmful behavior. It does, however, call for a more honest dialogue around loneliness, desire, and how gendered expectations continue to influence how women treat each other—especially online.We need to ask harder questions: Why do we valorize certain types of attention so much? Why is another woman's visibility perceived as a threat rather than inspiration? And how can online communities built around admiration of public figures become less toxic and more constructive?In the end, femcel culture—like any subculture—is a mirror. And in it, we see the distorted but revealing reflections of societal norms, emotional scarcity, and the ways women are still taught to compete for male attention, even when we think we’ve moved past it.
Search Engines Are Letting Online Harassment Thrive — And Silencing the People It Hurts MostLies Stick. Truth Sinks.Trolls know how to game the system. They post defamatory content, spread rumors on anonymous forums, and upload damaging blog posts loaded with keywords — and search engines reward them. Why? Because outrage and cruelty generate clicks. Bing and Yahoo’s algorithms prioritize “engagement,” not accuracy, so harmful content often rises to the top.Read entire post on my substack https://open.substack.com/pub/katherinegeleta/p/search-engines-are-letting-online?r=5zprs1&utmcampaign=post&utmmedium=web
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